The Will of Harry Potter
by Rabidhawk
Summary: My attempt of what a Betrayed Harry's will will be like
1. Chapter 1

It was the day after the final battle where THE – BOY – WHO – LIVED had died after killing HE – WHO – MUST – NOT – BE – NAMED. The Order of the Pheonix was at gringotts for the reading of Harry Potter's will. Griphook started out with Everyone present??

Alright!

We begin the reading of Harry Potter's will reading on 31st October 1999 at 3PM in meeting room 47. Read as follows…

I Harry James Potter of sound Mind and Body state that I am writing my last will & Testament on my own power not under duress. To the Turkey Club and its members who are present Put your hand in the bag and pull out a number, we have a number of gifts for each of you, even slimy slytherins present.

a) Albus Dombledore as Chief Warlok……. Decided that as the Head of the order of the Pheonix he would go first and picked out 69. When he opened the package he found a letter from the Wizengamut stating that the person holding this certificate is banned from eating lemon drops for the next seven consecutive lifetimes with the curse activating as soon as the letter was read. Albus Dumbledore faints…(Order unable to revive him packs him to a corner).

b) Minerva Mcgonagal was sent next and picked you guessed it 12. She saw it was a shiny red and gold wrapped package. When she opened it she found a deed to a company in Australia that manufactured catnips alongwith a letter which said for believing me when people said I killed Mrs. Fig. Thanks.

c) Next to go was Severus Snape ( HE was the winner of Rock-Paper-Scissors) He got the number 9 which read out a lifetime supply of you guessed it Anti-Grease Shampoo and Breath Mints


	2. Chapter 2

Just then Draco Malfoy walks into the room acting as if he owned gringotts. Griphook glared at him before continuing; Next in line Mr. Ronald Weasley:

Ron walks up to the desk and pick out No. 27, he opens his package to find a letter stating that as the owner of the chuddley canons he Harry Potter THE-BOY-WHO-LIVED was abolishing the team and had filed a petition with the International Quidditch Committee that it may never be allowed to reform again due to its inept performance in these past years. He also stated that when he finished reading this letter a curse would activate such that he would fall in love with pansy Parkinson and would only beget children who would get sorted into SLYTHERIN.

Before Hermione could walk up to the desk malfoy pushes past her and arrogantly puts his hand inside the back only to yell out and pull his hand back quickly. Everyone saw that his hand was caught in a mousetrap (like in T&J cartoons) and was swelling rapidly. He had the number 99 written on it. While trying to unsuccessfully remove the mouse trap he opens the package to find a CDplayer and a letter which read

Dear Ferret,

Hope this letter find you in ill health with pus and boils in where the sun don't shine. As the lord of Blacks I a hereby declaring your mother's marriage null and void thereby removing you from the family of blacks, also you should know that Lucius is not your father! He was gay and had some random death eater impregnate his wife while under imperious curse. So there goes the malfoy fortune too. I have informed gringotts about your ancestry so if you have any galleons left they may be your last. Also the machine you hold in your hand has been activated by now has a series of charms upon it IT IS UNBREAKABLE and will follow you around yelling out your cheesiest pick up line like My FATHER is the ……., The Dark Lord will ….. etc., I know you had your eye on Ron but he is taken up with pansy so you will not be getting her dowry either.

AN: You know out of 97 Hits only two people were kind enough to review I thank them you know who you are


	3. Attack of the Bookworms

Hi there! Sorry folks had a bit of tough time moving house across the states in India. Well Thanks to my reviews and to others who read my story but didn't review TY to you too.

On with the story…..

Hermione walked up to the dais twitchily as she felt an ominous feeling like some one was dancing on her bookshelf. She reached in and pulled out a small Booklet with the number 13 written on it. When she opened it, it read out as the world's most Know-it-all Bookworm her due was a truckload of Bookworms going through her personal library at her private room in her Secret House. Reading this she started getting hyperventilating at the thought of all her books being eaten by bookworms. She quickly turned and ran towards the door when harry's voice was heard from the book which said that he was also attaching a curse which will enable her to only see doodles for the next 8 years in lieu of her eight years of betrayal.

When Nymphadora tried the bag next she received a scarf made of Hufflepuff colors on which 29 was embroidered. As the head of your family I am hereby declaring that a marriage contract has been arranged between Mr. Alastor Moody and Ms. Nymphadora Black- Tonks for her role in the incarceration of Harry James Potter.

AN: will try to update again some time next week


	4. The truth let out

Well guess this is the last one for this story. Would you believe that for 500 hits from last night I received only 1 review by Vellouette. Thanks for that about your question read below.

Enjoy this last chapter…

Now that everyone of consequence has been dealt with; wait there is ginny still isn't she? Well to be serious had she tried out I may have gone out with her. But, She didn't, well her loss. I am certainly enjoying here.

Did any of you wonder why the wolf seems to be missing? Well it seems her was getting allergic to the cold wet English weather so I had him sent of to the Bahamas with a lifetime membership with the Beach Wet T-shirt Judges Club.

Now for the best news for ever. I am not dead! Everyone gasps and begin murmuring, I repeat I AM NOT DEAD. I was feeling bored and here comes tommy boy ranting all about Ruling the world. I stopped him told him about the paperwork that will be involved in ruling the world, He agreed that it was a waste of time so both me and tommy killed all his followers and we are at You guessed it at the Bahamas with Wolfie as the Beach Wet T-shirt Judges.

MAN THIS IS LIFE!!!!!!!

AN: Thanks for all the reviews I received. Would you believe Not one Flame. Ok Bye


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